Am I Shallow, or justified?

I met this cute guy on myspace, but it turns out he looks nothing like his Myspace pics in real life"Or so I've heard". In his picture's he looks like he weighs 150 pounds, but in reality he's 224, and he's 6'0", is that fat? I'm not superficial, but I don't want to be surprised you know? He looks like Brad Pitt, and he is so considerate/honest. He is really nice, and sweet, and smart, but I feel like I was decieved. I'm 6'0" and I weigh 145,

I hope he was joking, but If he's not well I'd like to take him to the gym, and help him lose that weight because although people don't want to seem mean, being over weight is un-healthy and I want to assist him in building up his self-esteem. It may take a while, but I know I'll grow to like him, alot ^_^ Does this at all sound bad? What is your insite on the situation?

thanx

Am I Shallow, or justified?

Yeah, you don't want to start off your relationship (whatever it is) with "you're fat. Let me make you skinny." He may have SERIOUS body issues, or he may have health problems that have made him gain wait, or he may be so embarassed about a gym that he'll never go.

Just invite him to do healthy activities with you first, like walking outside, or biking, or playing tennis... then maybe take it up a notch. Then maybe ask if he wants to come to the gym with you.

You're not supposed to be his savior, or one of the Fab Five giving him the makeover of his life, you're supposed to be his friend (or more). Ease into it.

(P.S. if you are 6'0 and 145, you're way too thin, IMO. Barely on the "normal" side of the BMI http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ )

Am I Shallow, or justified?

you ver nice pesron

Am I Shallow, or justified?

Well, no. I do not think you are being shallow. I mean, if you were you would not want to meet him at all because he is overweight. You know? I mean, it may insult him that you want to take him to the gym, but you are only doing it for his health. I hope things work out for you. =]

Am I Shallow, or justified?

Well, he's definitely overweight, but if you didn't see it at first I hardly think it should matter.

Be really careful about your little "gym" scheme though. You may think you mean well, but that might come off really offensive. It's screaming that you don't like him the way he is and that you are trying to change him. Being overweight does not neccessarily mean he's unhealthy, and it doesn't mean he doesn't have high self esteem already. You're making assumptions about him because he's fat, and that's bound to be really offputting.

I would just suggest "hey, i'm going to the gym wanna come?" as a safe way of doing it, but go no farther than that. It's something he should want to do for himself and if you push him, you're only showing that you can't take him for what he is.